Couples 'lack passion' after just one year

Couples 'lack passion' after just one year (Thinkstock photos/Getty Images)

Relationships start to lose their spark after just one year, a new study has revealed.

The survey conducted by Lloydspharmacy Online Doctor suggested that 15 per cent ofcouples make love every day, in the first 12-month "honeymoon" period of a relationship, theDaily Express reported.

Around 53 per cent of the respondents admitted that within fours years, action in the bedroomtakes place only a few times in a week.

It was found that beyond that point, for 43 per cent of couples it dwindles to just a few times a month.

The study also suggested that for people, who stay together for 15 years or more, 15 per cent have sex no more than a few times a year.

When asked how they might spice things up in the bedroom, 17 per cent could only suggest "turning off the light".

However, nearly 30 per cent confessed that at times they have problems "getting in the mood".

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8 Things that make you smarter

8 Things that make you smarter (Thinkstock photos/Getty Images)

US poet Wallace Stevens had said that by looking at an ordinary blackbird from many different perspectives, makes us think about it in new ways.

Author Annie Murphy Paul has written in theHuffington Post that the science of learning is a relatively new discipline that is an agglomeration of cognitive science, psychology, philosophy and neuroscience.

This disciple's mission is to apply the methods of science to human endeavors - teaching and learning - that for centuries have been treated mostly as an art.

She wrote 8 things that could help a person become smarter.

Firstly, she wrote that all intelligence is situational, as it is in large part a product of the situations that people find themselves in.

Secondly, a belief oriented around fixed limits stifles intelligence, while a belief in the continuous capacity to grow stimulates intelligence.

Thirdly, an expert's knowledge is well organized, around a core of central principles; it is flexible and transferable to new situations and is self-aware. This quality takes a long time to develop but it's never too study about a subject area that interests you, as in turn will boost their intellectual capacity.

Fourthly, focused attention is an important internal situation that a person must cultivate in order to fully express their intelligence.

Fifthly, people should take specific, concrete actions when their original plans don't work out as expected.

Sixthly, for tech to make people smarter, they need to know when to put it away.

Seventhly, all the things that make heart work better - good nutrition, adequate sleep, regularexercise, moderate stress - also make brain work better.

Lastly, a feeling of belonging is very important to the full expression of people's inventors of circumstances that evoke intelligence in themselves and others.

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Biggest regrets of the dying revealed

Biggest regrets of the dying revealed (Thinkstock photos/Getty Images)

A palliative nurse who has counselled the dyingin their last days has revealed the most common regrets people have at the end of their lives.

Among the top most common regrets of the dying has been "I wish I hadn't worked so hard."

Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives.

She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, the Guardian reported.

The top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware were:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

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Now, cyber funerals!

Now, cyber funerals!

New trend involves broadcasting funerals live on the net for those who can't make it in person

Live funerals on the internet is the latest online fad that has caught on in a big way.
A funeral is 'webcast', via live feed for the benefit of people who cannot attend. Moreover, DVDs of the service are also posted to close family andfriends.

The idea may seem inappropriate, but if you live halfway across the world, you needn't fret. Calculate the time difference, log on at the correct time and 'attend'! You can even plan and order things for the funeral from your home, by selecting caskets and services.

There are mixed reactions to the phenomenon, with some thinking this is taking technology too far. Do you think it's creepy or practical?

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Why Cancer should watch out for Capricorn

Why Cancer should watch out for Capricorn (Thinkstock photos/Getty Images)

The chemistry between polar opposites can be explosive - and that's exactly what couples be wary of when they get into long-term commitments.

The current sign, Cancer, finds its polar zodiac opposite in Capricorn. Of course, it's easy to see how the traits of each complement the other's.Cancer is nurturing, quiet but sensitive, gentle;Capricorn is protective, rooted and loyal. Physically, especially, the attraction can be hard to resist.

But once the initial chemistry gentles, both will realize that they need more than that to overcome their equally obvious differences. While they share great regard for wealth, Capri can be decidedly money-minded and rather ruthlessly ambitious, while Cancer is content with making lots of money without hurting anyone. Also, while Capricorn can be more dominating, Cancer is no wilting wallflower and will not stand to be subjugated or be seen as 'soft'. Both will have to learn great patience, wisdom and open-mindedness to get along.

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7 things that ruin a perfectly fine relationship

7 things that ruin a perfectly fine relationship (Thinkstock photos/Getty Images)

From obsessing over your career to being the self-appointed change-maker in his life, you might be driving him to call it quits

There are dos and don'ts in a relationship. If you are finding the latter list of conventions more common in your behaviour, then you are most likely to meet a dead-end with your happily-everafter dream soon. Don't ruin your perfectly fine relationship with these repugnant ways. 
Stop nitpicking This is the first relationship red flag. If you pick holes about everything from what he wears to how he speaks, bear in mind nobody wants to be around a nag, and not if she is a girlfriend, for sure. You will give him the impression that he winds you up more than soothes your nerves. You may argue that he is nice, but doesn't meet the criterion of the perfect guy you always dreamt of being with. That surely doesn't give you the licence to be the change maker in his life. Preventing him from hanging out with his crazy friends, or stopping his videogame sessions in an attempt to stabilise him will one day get the better of your relationship. We suggest, give him some space and enjoy yours. 
Get a life So, your job is important to you. Good for you. However, don't let your business become the centre of all the conversation that you have with your man, unless you're facing a crisis at work and you want him to hear you out. Calling off dinner dates, being on a work call and attending to your mails while you are with your partner is extremely disrespectful. It shows that you probably are having a relationship with your job than with your guy. Relax, once you are through with the day's work, switch off. Enjoy your time with your man and maintain the sanity of your relationship. 
Hold your horses It has been a while since the two of you are dating, and you have been waiting for him to propose marriage since the day you met him. Then, you would probably be waiting for the rest of your life. Hold your horses. Learn to go with the flow. Don't go about introducing him to your parents after the second date, and invite him for family dinners after the third. That said, don't be ambiguous too. If you are serious then let him know, or else let him go. Men can gauge the difference easily when the woman is playing hard to get, or when she is playing mean games. 
Don't be silly It is okay to speak to yourself, or tell yourself that you are pretty in front of the mirror every day. But don't expose your eccentricities in front of the potential 'to-be' when you are only just six months into the relationship. You may scare him off for good. Give him the awkward gaze, but save those crazy eyes when you know him a lot better. 
Learn to trust The basis of any healthy relationship, besides love, is trust. Don't be insecure. If you are constantly wondering whom he is with or speaking to, then you, perhaps, need a reality check. Walking on thin ice is unhealthy, and not when there are feelings involved. At that rate, you will reach the shrink before you make it to the marriage registrar's office. 
Stop venting Your boss hates you, your friends envy you, your mum doesn't listen to you, you are fat, and your world is as crappy as it gets. Too bad, learn to deal with it. But don't make your partner your vent hole. No guy wants to sit with a girl and hear how round her tummy is. People want to be around happy and optimistic kinds, not someone who whinges the entire day. Before you know it, your guy will be complaining about you to his folks. And even before you realise, he probably has become the reason you are whining to others about. Stop playing the Moaning Myrtle. Occasionally, give him a patient ear too. 
Move on If you are in love with someone else, then you certainly cannot give your new relationship all that it takes. Should you find yourself in a situation like this, step back and reason out. Make it clear to your partner that you are not just that into him. Better to let him go, than cling on to someone only to make yourself feel secure and wanted. It is not fair to your partner. Be true to yourself and your feelings. Move on, and allow him too.

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8 friends you need to let go off

The friends you need to let go off (Thinkstock photos/Getty Images)

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They say you should hang on to your friends for life. But some, you need to ditch pronto

The contender
He worked hard to get better grades than you in school, tried to win all the girls' attention, compared notes on who took the better holiday, and is now comparing your kid with his. Why are you still friends? Healthy competition between friends keeps both parties motivated. But if the camaraderie is about outdoing each other, your friend is your biggest competitor. So, tell him, ciao.

The MIA friend
She missed wishing you on your birthday, failed to turn up when you lost your grand mum. She is almost always busy when you call, and replies to text messages after a week, When you do make plans, she cancels last minute. Let this friend go. Face it; she does not respect your place in her life.

The commitment phobe
You've become his 'run to' person, yet he won't pop the question. Like it or not, this person is just not that into you. Pursuing a relationship with someone who is taking it nowhere can result in damaged self-esteem. Better save your time and energy for someone who wants to be with you.

The smarty pants
Nothing is good enough for her. No matter how hard you try, she nitpicks — about your clothes, hair, car, dog's breed. True friends don't do that. Remember, when you allow someone to make you feel like rubbish about yourself, you lend more power to their burgeoning ego. Ask yourself, what does this do to yours? It leaves you insecure.

The sulk pot
It is all about their misery. And if you don't give them a patient ear, they take off on a guilt trip. Take a break from this blundering person. Human beings feed of each other's energies. If you're constantly in their company, chances are, you too will turn into one.

The social-networkers
Social networking is great for networking. Keep it at that. If you're spending more time with your virtual buddies than real friends, you've got a problem on hand. You need to get off Facebook and start meeting friends face-to-face. Your handful of true friends will be there for you. The 1000-odd Facebook buddies may unfollow you anytime.

The office spouse
Either you or he is hitched. Yet, that doesn't stop you from indulging in some harmless flirtatious banter. But you need to set boundaries if you wish to preserve your sanity. It's best to nip it in the bud, before things go out of hand. Steer clear from this temptation if you don't want to end up losing your job and friend.

The gossip girl
No point pretending to be someone who doesn't care about what's happening at the workplace. It's okay to take a break and indulge in some tittle-tattle with the gossip monger. But is this little birdie tweeting at your desk way too often? You don't want your boss overhearing a back-biting session, do you? It might generate unnecessary suspicion and ill will. Why go there?

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When your boss is your boyfriend

When your boss is your boyfriend (Thinkstock photos/Getty Images)

Melissa D'costa tells you how to navigate your professional and personal space without drifting apart.

An office romance comes with its own set of rules and complications. However, it gets even harder to deal with when your lover also happens to be your boss. We tell you how to balance both.

Learn to take no for an answer
There maybe times when you both don't see eye to eye about an issue. Instead of resenting him for it, discuss the same, try and understand his point of view, even if you can't accept it. When you are back at home be yourself and say remember "It's business, not personal." Also, there will be office gossip, avoid providing the material for it by arguing at work.

Avoid indulging in too much PDA
The one thing most couples find hard to do when in a relationship is to limit PDA when in public. While it's natural for you to have moments when you just want to reach out and hold the person, people around you may not be comfortable with it. So as far as possible, avoid PDA in office, a light touch or a peck on the cheek is okay, provided it's in the confines of your own cabin, and not privy to prying eyes. Also, if possible avoid baby talk in office, and take breaks with other colleagues. Leave office at different times even a few minutes' difference looks professional.

Learn when to pull the plug on work talk
While it's okay to talk about what happens in office, make sure you also have time for yourselves. Learn to respond to your partner's cues, and that will teach you when they have switched off mentally, even if they have not said so, and want to discuss anything apart from work.

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10 Things women want from men

What women want from men (Thinkstock photos/Getty Images)

Here's what women want from men 

1. When we talk 'listen', it shows us that you care about our feelings. 

2. Men should be smart enough and understand that not all our bad moods are connected to PMS-ing. 

3. Guys, developing an EQ (Emotional quotient) would help. That however, does not mean that they need to cry at the drop of a hat, it just means you need to be more sensitive towards us.

4. With women communication is the key, so try and talk to us often. 

5. Here are some traits we wish men would display - chivalry, making an extra effort with our friends and family, because we do the same! 

6. Cook for us once in a while - this one may sound like a cliche, but we love surprises so an occasional effort wouldn't hurt, would it? 

7. Your machoism is not directly proportional to the speed at which you drive your car. Rash driving is so uncool. 

8. Be protective, not possessive, hear that? 

9. We need our man to proclaim love all the time and we leave it to you as to how you wish to show it. 

10. Remember the quickest way to lose a woman is to lie to her; so be honest.

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'Porn' makes men hopeless in bed

Perils of pornography (Thinkstock photos/Getty Images)

It's a known fact that most men watch porn. But are you one of those guys who regularly get their dose of viewing adult material on the internet?

And in doing so, have you become sort of a global citizen in the world of porn? If yes, then you could be heading for trouble, especially if you're under the impression that viewing things people do in videos can actually make you better in the sack. According to a research study, watching online porn can affect men'sperformance in the bedroom.

The findings of the study states that exposure to porn is desensitising young men to such an extent that they are unable to get excited by ordinary sexual activities. This is the result of over stimulation of dopamine (a neurotransmitter that activates the pleasure centre in the brain) on a continuous basis by watching pornography. In the process, a paradoxical effect gets generated whereby the brain loses its ability to respond to normal levels of dopamine when it gets used to a higher spike of dopamine. This means that individuals need experiences of an extreme nature to get sexually aroused.

Let's cite the case of 31-year-old Abhinav Varma (name changed), an IT professional who's totally hooked on to watching porn online and has been married since the past four years. "Like most regular guys, I too have been watching porn since I was a teenager. However, with the passage of time there's such easy availability of a variety of porn on the internet to suit everybody's tastes. In fact, I prefer watching porn than having sex with my wife," he confesses. Varma and his wife are seeking marital counselling as a result of his addiction to viewing porn.

Sexologist Dr Deepak Jumani agrees with the study saying, "There is an increase in the number of such cases as online pornography is highly popular and exciting because its accessible, affordable and anonymous. In fact, today we live in a sexually saturated society and we are exposed to tons of information, much of which is distorted." He opines that pornography reduces one's sexual currency in terms of pleasure and romance.

Sexologist Dhananjay Gambhire, who has also encountered many such cases in his practice, says, "What is shown in porn is not natural sex. These are actions according to picturisation and titillation, and doing the same produces a lot of discomfort and failure. Especially in the initial days, this can be very devastating on sexual relationships."

As for treatment, Dr Gambhire suggests desensitising the patient, i.e. staying away from porn. Counselling and sometimes medicines too are prescribed.

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Share chores for a long-lasting marriage

Share chores for a long-lasting marriage

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A long-lasting marriage, it seems, is no longer based on just love and respect. A recent research conducted on 160 couples aged between 25 and 30, with at least one child under the age of five, has revealed that the more men involved themselves in household work, the better it was for their marriage. 

The study, published in the Journal of Family Issues, was carried out at Missouri University in the US where Professor Adam Galovan said home chores did not necessarily have to be divided equally; couples could do it together. 

He was quoted by a site as saying, "Sharing can mean something different to every couple. It could be taking turns to change nappies, or one parent watching the children while the other prepares dinner." Marriages will become better when wives feel their husbands are close to the kids. Here are some chores you can share to boost emotional intimacy. 

help in the kitchen 

There's an old saying, 'The couple that cooks together, stays together!' Whether it's washing utensils, chopping veggies, cooking or even looking up recipes on internet, there are plenty of things you can do together in the kitchen. 

Decorate your home 

When you stay together, you automatically start understanding each other's aesthetic sensibilities. Decorating your home together is a wonderful way to incorporate your design sensibilities and more importantly, build a home together. Make a list of things you both want in the house. From choosing the curtains to purchasing household items together, it's a fun way to renew your bond. 

Go grocery shopping 

It's one of the simplest and easiest things to do. Shopping together for groceries will not only give you ample time with each other outside the house, it will also help husbands participate in home chores. Says Enakshi Sharma, a housewife, "On most days, I don't get time to be with my husband. Since both of us are working, we make it a point to at least go grocery-shopping every alternate day. That gives us some time together." 

Play with your child 

Usually, one finds that only one parent plays with the child at a time. But make it a point to rope in your spouse when playing with your kid. Not only will it help the child bond with his/her parents better, it will also bring the couple closer. 

Challenges of sharing 

If you think sharing home chores with your spouse will always be a great experience, you are wrong! Couples are often bound to have conflicts when doing something together. Most womenset standards for housework in the family — for example, how the laundry should be done or who would go grocery-shopping during the weekends. 

But don't let arguments or differences creep in. Instead, look for ways to strike a chord with your partner. It is believed that if each spouse does 50% of the housework, partners feel great about each other and their own abilities. In short, it will ensure a positive relationship in the long run.

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